Ghost Writing

Essays that were inspired by someones story



The OutBreath
(For Lynn and the love of her life)
May 2009
I will go a whole day without you again. Hours serve as a bridge to the night, where I will lay still and wait for you.  Sometimes, deep into the night, when it seems that I am the only one awake in the world, I can feel you.  There has always been that tie that bonds us and it is in those moments that the gap between this life and the next gets a bit smaller.  I do not wish to be on your side. That would be selfish.  I only wish that the love we share did not leave with you to your side.  I find comfort in believing that you are happier in the arms of your God and your heaven.  I will find happiness again, but the ghost of you is giving me the only comfort I want right now.  The fear of moving on is the fear that you will disappear.  So, I stay small in this bed and only sleep on the right side, so to leave room for you if you so are inclined one night to want to hold me. The days of our forever are beginning to unwind, I know this.  It’s the ebb and the flow. The breathing in and out.  I’m just on the out breath of you and that may be why the fight in me is getting stronger.  The will of you is fighting to survive the reality that you are no longer mine.  You belong to another woman of time and dimension.  She sings the songs you know by heart and I am no longer in tune.




Deserts and Oceans

(For the newly separated passenger in row 8)

June 2010

So just breathe in the new and exhale out the one you thought you loved.  He was only a mirage in the desert you call love.  What’s on the other side of that oasis is freedom and the deepest ocean you will ever experience.  Feel the stinging sensation of each grain of sand now; let it tattoo your memories so that they may burn into lessons.  Let the suns rays keep your eyes squinted so you can’t look behind you, there is nothing there for you to find any longer.  When you feel dizzy from the effects of the heat, tumble with them and get lost in it all, its only there to disorient you from the pain.  When you reach the body of water that you know to be real, dive in, head first.  Don’t hold your breath, let the water rush in to every pore healing your sunburned heart and callused feet.  You’ve walked miles in hell and are now baptized.  Reborn into your ocean of every dream you’ve ever had for yourself. The steam that rises from you is merely toxic love burning off, swim in it.  It’s your world now, no longer to be shared with an endless desert of not enough’s and unworthy embraces.  Look out in the horizon, and swim toward it.  It is your compass and will never lead you astray again.